At this point I changed tactics and started playing “good cop, bad cop” with him. Still prodding him for the information, but also encouraging him that it was for the best and that he would have to do it if he wanted to end the suffering. When he couldn’t take it anymore, and begged me to allow him to go to the ER, I told him that he was having a panic attack and that he should go take a bath and then try to sleep.

I did not hear from him for two day.

When he got online today, he informed me that he’d gone to the hospital where they ran a bunch of tests on him. I berated him for being a moron and instructed him to write a new journal about everything that had happened. It can be found here

The conversation between the two of us from today will be after the livejournal cut and the entry where I mind-fucked him will be a seperate friends-only entry.

mitsukaisvotary: good morning
Mistress Mitsukai: Hello
mitsukaisvotary: hello Majesty
Mistress Mitsukai: you haven’t been online.
mitsukaisvotary: no
mitsukaisvotary: remember the last time we chatted, i went the the hospital that night ,
Mistress Mitsukai: and what happened?
mitsukaisvotary: they admitted me cause ofthe extreme anxiety and chest pains
Mistress Mitsukai: Ugh
Mistress Mitsukai: Alright, and then?
mitsukaisvotary: tests
Mistress Mitsukai: Wow.
Mistress Mitsukai: Tests, exciting.
Mistress Mitsukai: Then?
mitsukaisvotary: no heart attack
Mistress Mitsukai: Wow.
Mistress Mitsukai: you’re kidding!
Mistress Mitsukai: Surprise, surprise!
Mistress Mitsukai: What then?
mitsukaisvotary: he saids he never saw`such fear
Mistress Mitsukai: Crazy.
mitsukaisvotary: yea i guess
Mistress Mitsukai: you don’t think maybe it was an anxiety attack brought on by a phobia, do you?
Mistress Mitsukai: I mean, that’d make a lot of sense.
Mistress Mitsukai: Fucking crazy.
Mistress Mitsukai: Heart attack.
Mistress Mitsukai: Jesus.
mitsukaisvotary: i never had anything like that before ,
Mistress Mitsukai: Both you and the doctor are a bunch of morons.
mitsukaisvotary: i didnt have one
Mistress Mitsukai: Didn’t have one what?
mitsukaisvotary: the test showed i didnt have a heart attack
Mistress Mitsukai: No shit.
Mistress Mitsukai: I could have told you that.
Mistress Mitsukai: In fact, I believe I did.
mitsukaisvotary: i know
mitsukaisvotary: yes
Mistress Mitsukai: I told you what was going on and how to fix it.
Mistress Mitsukai: But someone decided he was going to not trust me.
mitsukaisvotary: yes
Mistress Mitsukai: and look at that.
mitsukaisvotary: yes
Mistress Mitsukai: A motherfucking anxiety attack.
Mistress Mitsukai: you don’t say.
Mistress Mitsukai: you’re an idiot.
mitsukaisvotary: yes Majesty
Mistress Mitsukai: Go blog about it.
mitsukaisvotary: what should i say
Mistress Mitsukai: you can tell your readers all about how I tried to get your information out of you even though I had it, and even though you had a phobia.
Mistress Mitsukai: and that I kept pushing you and taunting you.
Mistress Mitsukai: Until you broke down.
Mistress Mitsukai: and you in all your wisdom thought it was a heart attack.
Mistress Mitsukai: I told you otherwise, but you paraded your ass to the hospital.
Mistress Mitsukai: Where the doctor took advantage of your moronic ass who was obviously having a panic attack and ran a bunch of tests.
Mistress Mitsukai: Let me guess, big bill for all those tests?
mitsukaisvotary: yes
Mistress Mitsukai: Fucking hell.
Mistress Mitsukai: That’s a surprise.
mitsukaisvotary: insurance pays though
Mistress Mitsukai: So?
Mistress Mitsukai: It’s the same idea.
Mistress Mitsukai: That asshole knew you were having panic attacks.
Mistress Mitsukai: It’s textbook.
Mistress Mitsukai: So you can talk about all your tests.
Mistress Mitsukai: and how you sheepishly came back to tell me what I already knew.
Mistress Mitsukai: That you had a goddamned panic attack.
Mistress Mitsukai: and ran to the hospital like a baby.
Mistress Mitsukai: Now go write your entry.
mitsukaisvotary: the question in my mind is what has happened , im terified of you, and i look up to you like i never vhave anyone, you are a deity to me now
mitsukaisvotary: yes Majesty
mitsukaisvotary: im during as you ordered
mitsukaisvotary: i see you are loolking for a live in slave
Mistress Mitsukai: Wrong.
Mistress Mitsukai: I don’t want it living with me.
mitsukaisvotary: i understand
mitsukaisvotary: i meant near
mitsukaisvotary: like i am going to do hopefully
mitsukaisvotary: posted
mitsukaisvotary: if you dont approve ill change it in anyway pleasing to you
Mistress Mitsukai: Checking.
mitsukaisvotary: ty
Mistress Mitsukai: you forgot about puking.
mitsukaisvotary: do i have to include that
Mistress Mitsukai: Yes.
mitsukaisvotary: please`check
Mistress Mitsukai: So when I sent you up to bed did you think that you were having a heart attack, that I was lying to you about the panic attack, and that I was attempting to kill you?
mitsukaisvotary: no
mitsukaisvotary: i tried to lie down and breath as you instructed but i kep remembering i disobeyed you and with each rememberance i got more and more scared, i had incredible chest pain and could hardly breath. i tried praying to you but you werent there like you usually are when i pray, i cried and thre up again and thought i better go to the ER
mitsukaisvotary: i havent prayed to you since that night
Mistress Mitsukai: Then you should do so now.
mitsukaisvotary: i feel so depressed so broken so desolate its hard to describe how i feel
mitsukaisvotary: can i come back after prayer and discuss with you how i am feeling i feel so desolate and depressed please may i come back after prayer to you
Mistress Mitsukai: you may
mitsukaisvotary: ty Majesty i be back in like 10-15 min ok