Posted by Mistress Mitsukai | Uncategorized | Monday 8 June 2009 10:36 am

So, the other day, some jackoff contacted me in broken english and was very rude and a complete sleaze-bucket. he was also incredibly dumb and readily giving up information about himself so I thought I’d just string him along and then call his parents and tell them what a douchebag their son is. In either case, the conversation took a different direction. Spoilers: I reported him for terrorism, told him I did, he laughed at me and didn’t believe I did it. Yesterday however, he sent this:

(6:44:59 AM) Indian douchebag: hi
(6:45:16 AM) Indian douchebag: the Fed guys actually called me
(6:45:28 AM) Indian douchebag: seems like i’ve got a warrant
(6:45:57 AM) Indian douchebag: :(
(6:46:06 AM) Indian douchebag: look what you’ve done to me

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!

This is the conversation that made me decide to report him:

(12:33:55 PM) Indian douchebag: im frm florida, usa
(12:34:07 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: Wow. I care.
(12:34:21 PM) Indian douchebag: come on girl
(12:34:26 PM) Indian douchebag: be a good girl
(12:34:39 PM) Indian douchebag: answer my call huny
(12:35:21 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: Fuck you.
(12:35:30 PM) Indian douchebag: are you m/f?
(12:35:50 PM) Indian douchebag: if you’re f i can fuck you else NO

(12:37:02 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: are you at work?
(12:37:22 PM) Indian douchebag: work? yea you can say im at work
(12:37:29 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: Ooh, where do you work?
(12:37:46 PM) Indian douchebag: got my own bisness here girl
(12:37:52 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: Doing what?
(12:38:08 PM) Indian douchebag: im a graduate but i run a small factory
(12:38:25 PM) Indian douchebag: we make auto components
(12:38:36 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: Ooh, what’s it called? this is so exciting.
(12:39:15 PM) Indian douchebag: well im surprised whats so exciting bout that..but since you’ve asked, its called UCN Conversions
(12:39:23 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: and you own it?
(12:39:26 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: Because women love power.
(12:39:34 PM) Indian douchebag: we’re 3 who own it
(12:39:45 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: What’s your name, honey?
(12:39:46 PM) Indian douchebag: lmao…power!
(12:40:06 PM) Indian douchebag: are you gonna bend me over & slap my butts?
(12:40:26 PM) Indian douchebag: and shreek…WOMAN POWA
(12:40:36 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: Of course not. What’s your name?
(12:40:48 PM) Indian douchebag: Indian douchebag
(12:41:13 PM) Indian douchebag: you can call me mr.jizz

Then he offered me a job paying $2500 a month and a free villa in Florida.

(12:57:31 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: Alright, you’re annoying me and I’m not going to get any more information out of you because your company is a joke.
(12:57:37 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: So lets get some things straight.
(12:57:48 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: “Girl” is not an acceptable term for me.
(12:57:51 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: Neither is “kid”.
(12:57:56 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: So knock that shit off.
(12:58:03 PM) Indian douchebag: knock it off
(12:59:19 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: I do not want to have sex with you.
(12:59:23 PM) Indian douchebag: you’re dumber than i thot
(12:59:33 PM) Indian douchebag: haaaahahaha
(12:59:41 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: sean m roberts
(12:59:43 PM) Indian douchebag: did i tell you i wanted sex?
(12:59:47 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: born october 1982
(12:59:54 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: bradenton, fl
(12:59:58 PM) Indian douchebag: you’re right

I then proceeded to give him his parents names, his address, and phone number and he flipped out.

(1:05:31 PM) Indian douchebag: whats your name young lady?
(1:05:57 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: Unlike you, I’m not a fucking retard who gives out my name.
(1:06:11 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: I’ll be contacting your parents by the way.
(1:06:27 PM) Indian douchebag: and you fucking believed what i told you?? see how dumb you americans are!
(1:07:01 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: Of course not. I do believe that your name is Indian douchebag and that you’re 27.
(1:07:05 PM) Indian douchebag: maybe we should invade ur country
(1:07:18 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: Oh see, now what you’ve done?
(1:07:28 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: I’m going to have to forward this conversation to the feds now.
(1:07:32 PM) Mistress Mitsukai: you’ve forced my hand.
(1:07:38 PM) Indian douchebag: hahahahaha
(1:07:53 PM) Indian douchebag: young lady whats your name
(1:08:57 PM) Indian douchebag: earlier you told me bout sex. now your tellin me bout some fed. which fed? K-Fed?
(1:09:15 PM) Indian douchebag: :) )
(1:11:18 PM) Indian douchebag: Indian douchebag has buzzed you!
(1:11:23 PM) Indian douchebag: you there?

hahahaha what?

Posted by Mistress Mitsukai | Uncategorized | Tuesday 13 January 2009 4:16 pm

I got this email today, and I seriously could NOT stop laughing. Prrraise JEEsus! It’s a miracle, I can now see the light. Sorry folks, but this person helped me realize that I’m being MEAN! *gasp!* I know, I know, and I apologize for my sins. I can’t be a dominatrix anymore, because I have to go on some shitty soul-quest right now. Miss me.

JUST KIDDING! THIS KIND OF, TYPED BY A HALF RETARDED MONKEY NONSENSE IS JUST HILARIOUS TO ME.

Listen robert ellis, maybe you should have stuck to the heroin, then you wouldn’t be able to afford the internet and you could have saved me the yawn at your expense. In fact, I’m going to track down where you live and send you a free batch just so you shut your whore mouth.

You’re right, I am stuck up, and tell you what, concerning the media, howsabout you go ahead and give CNN and ring and tell them about my website. I sure would like the publicity.

Whenever someone says “you’re not even that pretty”, do you know what I think robert? Do you? I think you can’t stop staring at how perfect I am, because you see robert, that’s the kind of thing that someone says right after they rave about how gorgeous I am at a bar and the “No” comes out of my mouth faster than the speed of light.

It’s a funny thing. Maybe if you and your kind weren’t so goddamned hilariously dumb and gluttons for abuse at the hands of a gorgeous woman, I wouldn’t be here laughing my ass off at this email that you whipped up and forgot to hit spellcheck on. By the way, barley is a type of wheat. The word you wanted was barely, dumbass.

Also, mr ex heroin addict, I’m perfectly happy with my life, in fact, I’d say that everything goes right and nothing ever goes wrong. I’ve got an awesome boyfriend, just got a new kickass pair of shoes in the mail today (the doorbell woke me up, because I sleep in until 11:30 every day awesome), I live in a great place, I’m in perfect shape and gorgeous, talented at everything that I do… the list is endless.

How about you robert? What did you replace the heroin with? I totally bet 500 bucks that I keep seeing you hit my website in the future and that you eventually beg to serve me. I’ve got a way with these things. Hey, that wouldn’t be a joint email account you’re using, would it? Because it sure looks like it.

———————————————————————————

You are one of the most stuck up pieces of shit on the internet. I barley read part of your sick web page and got sick to my stomach. When the media talks about how any idiot can put their garbage online they must be talking to you. You are defianatly the bottom feeding 2 percent of our population. You’re not even that pretty, the only other more sick thing than you on the internet is the mass porn websites. But seriously you’re not even that pretty, whats wrong with you? Have you still not gotten over some highschool sweat-heart that broke up with you millions of years ago when you were still young? And you have to make up for your lame self by having “slaves.” Do you really feel that bad about yourself you put everyone else down? I’m sorry, I’ve never sent anyone a message putting them down like this, but really consider changing youself as a person, you might deny it but you cant possibly like yourself, and if you, think you, like
yourself, you have no soul or conscious and it must be lost forever from you. Retrieving your humanity (which you dont have right now, trust me I know you don’t) is only possible by jesus (and im not a religious person, but get used to the idea of eternal damnation).
________________________________

Please excuse my words to you but you must hear them. I’m actually crying for you right now. Sorry.

GOD bless
Robert Ellis

PS: I’d like to know more about you but your website makes me sick, I’m sorry I feel like you need to hear those words. Please make yourself really happy not the kind of happiness which is instant gratification, but real happiness which comes from the unconditional love of god and your unconditional love for your fellow human being’s. I will be praying for you from now on, everyday.

Oh Yeah and as an ex: heroin addict I’d say heroin has you beat so bad.