Yesterday, candyass started the day out wrong by trying to lie to me and tell me that he wouldn’t be around because he needed to spend the next five or so hours getting ready for work the next day (ya, right).
When asked for details, he said something along the lines of “you know, getting my clothes ready, making my lunches.” Now, I don’t know what kind of mentally stunted woman would fall for that load of bullshit but that woman isn’t me. At most, that’s 45 minutes. So then he threw in that he also had to bathe his kids. Alright, 30 more minutes. Eventually, I guess realizing that I’m not that stupid, he admitted that he had planned to go watch some game with his friends.
There was not a goddamned snowballs chance in hell that candyass was going to enjoy himself so I allowed him a half hour to take the kids to his mother in laws house where his soon to be ex wife was spending the night for mothers day and had him pop open his very first can of dog food for his new diet. Some alpo chicken and rice flavour… Anyway, the best thing about candyass is he that he’s a big pussy and makes pretty amusing/pathetic faces whenever I make him eat something disgusting.
Also, supposedly, his wife had his phone turned off today because he didn’t tell her “happy mothers day” and he had to run out and get a new one. he also has until June 1st to move out. It would seem that she is really pushing to get him out of her life as quickly as possible. Not that I can blame her, I would too, except I would have booted his ass out and had the locks changed the same day.
he had some crazy notion that he would need time before he can pay me again because he needs to buy furniture, and get this, go out with his friends to find a new girlfriend. I nearly died from laughing and afterwards is when I decided that he’ll need to go into chastity. In fact, instead of buying furniture, he can find some free to a good home AIDS infected furniture off of craigslist so that he can afford to buy the chastity belt as soon as possible. Probably used off of ebay to increase the chance of him catching some life threatening disease even further.
In either case, if anyone lives near Nashua, NH, let me know. I have a few ways you can come in handy and help me make candyass’s life even more miserable.